I am Ken Samuel, the owner of this website. I did not write this story; I discovered it.

After my father died in 1997, I went to his office to go through his things and decide what I wanted to keep. His office was filled with many tall stacks of books, so I couldn’t go through all of them. I looked at books for about two hours and had the rest put into storage. A few years later, I got around to looking at the books again. This story caught my attention as soon as I touched it, because, although it looked like a bunch of pieces of paper, the pages were stiff, like cardboard. But it wasn’t cardboard. It was so stiff that I couldn’t even bend it. Taking a closer look, I noticed that the pages weren’t white. They were colored a very, very light shade of blue. It was so subtle that I never would have noticed it if I hadn’t examined the pages so carefully.

The next strange thing was that I couldn’t figure out how the pages were attached to one another. One long side of each page was connected to the others, as in a book, but there was no binding, no staples, no paper clips, no tape — absolutely nothing I could find that held the pages together. And they weren’t glued together, because they didn’t overlap. When I flipped a page, I could lie it down flat, right beside the next page, which was also lying flat. And I was unable to pull the pages apart, no matter how hard I tried.

I have found no way to do anything to these pages except read them. I can’t mark them up with a pencil, pen, crayon, or marker. They’re resistant to fire, water, glue, tape, heat, cold, and even coffee. It’s absolutely incredible!

Well, naturally, I read the story, and I thought it was so fascinating, I felt compelled to share it with the world. So I typed it up and posted it on my website for you to enjoy.

This is a true story.

If you are reading it anytime after October 2387, then you already know that it really happened. Ever since the media started reporting it, I’ve received many messages asking me to tell them what happened. So now, over a year later, I’m finally doing it. I hope it entertains you.

On the other hand, if you are reading it before October 2387, then you probably haven’t heard of me, and I haven’t invented my time machine yet. In that case, hello, my name is… uh… will be Pacie Harris. This story may sound… uh… have sounded like science fiction to you. So I’ll reiterate, this is… uh, will be… a true story.

Okay, I have to do something about verb tenses. Since I don’t know if these events take place in the past or the future for you, I can’t choose a tense that will please everybody. So, what I have decided to do is to tell this story from my own perspective.

My name is Pacie Harris. I’m a graduate student at The University of Texas at Brownsville studying Physics. Building the time machine was not my Ph.D. project. My advisor would never have permitted me to do anything that risky. Mainstream physics thought it was impossible to travel into the past, because it would result in paradoxes like a man breezing back in time and killing his grandmother before she had any children. So I worked on my time machine entirely on my own.

I didn’t tell anyone about the time machine. It was important to me that it be kept secret. You know what they say. If you breeze back in time and kill a fly, you might return to find America and Pakistindia in the middle of a black hole war! You see, I’m a member of the Peacemongers Society, and no, we don’t use the acronym PMS! We are devoted to the cause of peace, following the lead of the Peace Pilgrim, a woman who walked back and forth across North America in the name of peace a long, long time ago. And I’m very aware of how scientific work has been used for war in the past. Albert Einstein’s quantum physics work resulted in President Truman killing millions of people with the atomic bomb. Brookelynn Simon’s neurology research led to the brainwashing device, without which, President Farthington probably wouldn’t have attacked Mexico. And now, Canon Smith’s geneology work has given birth (literally) to the superhuman soldiers that will surely motivate another war when they grow up. So I didn’t tell anyone about my time travel work.

I can’t continue without telling you about the most important person in this story. I had a tremendous crush on LaKeshia Willis, whom I met in the Peacemongers Society. I loved talking with her, and we would often continue talking after everyone else had left. I really wanted to let her know how I felt about her, but I held back because I was afraid that, if she didn’t reciprocate, then we might lose the sibship. She was too jinormous a sib for me to risk it until I had more confidence that she was interested in more than sibship too.

On October 2nd, 2387, I decided to tell LaKeshia about the time machine. I needed somebody’s help with a thorny problem, and I thought LaKeshia might come up with a solution. She had often come up with creative ideas that were tremendously successful. For example, it was her idea to build the Peace Fountain to collect donations. I never knew how many people wanted to be able to say they did something for the cause of peace, but people tossed so many coins into the fountain that it paid for itself in less than six months. Now, fifteen other branches of the Peacemongers Society have built their own Peace Fountains. LaKeshia also suggested the Peace Promise idea, where people would sign their name agreeing to permit a counselor to intervene in any argument they ever had.

And I had no question that I could trust LaKeshia with my secret. I was sure that she would understand the importance of protecting my invention from abuse. So I sat down with her and said, “Can you keep a secret?”

“I promise,” she said.

“I’m working on building a time machine.”

She stared at me. “Are you talking about traveling through time?”

“Yes, but I’m only focused on traveling backward through time.”

“But, but how?”

“Okay, I’ll explain.” I pulled out a sheet of paper and placed a ruler on it. “Now suppose an electron is here at a certain time.” I drew a dot below the ruler at the 0 centimeter mark. “I’ll refer to this time as 0 milliseconds after midnight.” I wrote “0” beside the dot. “Okay?”

“I’m with you,” she said. This caused my heart to do a little somersault.

“Now, the electron is breezing to the right at a constant rate of one centimeter per millisecond. So, it reaches here at 1 millisecond after midnight.” I drew a dot below the 1 centimeter mark on the ruler and wrote “1” beside it.

“Then it reaches the 2 centimeter mark at time 2 milliseconds and the 3 centimeter mark…”

“… at 3 milliseconds,” she said.

“Right.” I drew the dots at 2 centimeters and 3 centimeters and wrote “2” and “3” beside them.

“Now, suppose that for some reason, the electron suddenly reverses direction in time.”

“You mean it starts breezing backward in time?”

“Right. But it’s still breezing to the right at the steady rate of 1 centimeter per millisecond.”

“So then it reaches 4 centimeters at time 2 milliseconds?”

“Exactly.” I drew a dot at the 4 centimeter mark and wrote “2” beside it. I was pleased that she caught on right away.

“And then it’s at 5 centimeters at time 1 millisecond.”

“Right.” I made a dot at 5 centimeters and wrote “1” beside it. “Now the electron reverses direction in time again, still breezing to the right at 1 centimeter per millisecond.”

“So it reaches 6 centimeters at time 2 milliseconds.”

“Yes. And 7 centimeters at 3 milliseconds and 8 centimeters at 4 milliseconds.” I marked this information below the ruler. “You understand.”

“I do, but I don’t see where you’re going with this.”

“Okay. Imagine a scientist is watching this electron with a microscope.”

“The scientist is breezing forward in time?”

“Yes. So what would he see?”

“Well, at time 0 milliseconds, he would see the electron at 0 centimeters.”

“Uh huh. And then at 1 millisecond?”

“Um, the electron would be at 1 centimeter, but it would also be at the 5 centimeter point.”

“Right. He would think that an electron suddenly appeared out of nowhere. He couldn’t know that it’s actually the same electron. Okay, go on.”

“Well, the electron breezes from 1 centimeter to 2 centimeters here.” She pointed at the 1-centimeter dot and breezed her finger to the 2-centimeter dot.

“And over here?” I asked, pointing at the 5 centimeter dot.

“Um, well at 2 milliseconds it reaches 4 centimeters…”

“And?”

“It also breezes to 6 centimeters. So he sees the electron at 5 centimeters breeze in both directions.”

“It’s as if two electrons had appeared at 5 centimeters at time 1 millisecond, and one breezes left while the other breezes right.”

“Uh huh. Okay. Then next, this breezes from 2 centimeters to 3 centimeters, and this breezes from 4 centimeters to 3 centimeters…”

“They appear to collide.”

“And this breezes from 6 centimeters to 7 centimeters…” She pointed at the dot at 6 centimeters. “… and then to 8 centimeters.”

“And what about these two?” I pointed at the dot at 3 centimeters.

“They disappear?”

“Into thin air. The scientist thinks that two electrons collided and destroyed each other.”

“Okay, I understand. Now what?”

“Well, this really does happen.”

“What?”

“It has been observed in the laboratory.”

“You’re kidding.”

“Have you ever heard of antiparticles?”

“Um yeah… Every particle has an opposite, and when they come into contact, they’re both annihilated.”

“And also, they always appear in pairs.”

“Yes, but doesn’t there have to be energy to produce a particle and its antiparticle?”

“That’s right. For example, it takes two photons of energy to create an electron and a positron.”

“Positron?”

“Yes. That’s what we call the antielectron.”

“And a photon?”

“That’s an amount of energy.”

“Okay.”

“And when an electron and positron collide, they disappear, releasing two photons of energy.”

“I see. And this really happens?”

“Yes. Physicists have known about it for centuries.”

“Hmm.”

“Now, getting back to the ruler, I need to add the photons to the picture.” I breezed the ruler up and drew little zigzags above and below the dots at the 3-centimeter mark and the 5-centimeter mark. “Now, over here at 5 centimeters, this photon is breezing straight down and its pair is breezing straight up. At time 0 milliseconds, they are above and below the dot I drew, and at 1 millisecond, they collide at the dot.” I wrote “0” beside each of the zigzags at the 5-centimeter mark.

LaKeshia pointed at where I had written “1” beside the dot at the 5-centimeter mark. “The electron is there at the same time as the photons.”

“That’s right,” I said. “And then the photons disappear.”

“So the scientist thinks the photons have changed into an electron.”

“Actually, he sees the photons change into one electron and one positron. He sees the positron breezing to the left and the electron breezing to the right.”

“The positron is the one breezing backward in time.”

“That’s right.” She was so intelligent!

“And then what about these photons?” She pointed at the photons above and below the 3-centimeter mark on the ruler. “Do they collide with the electron and positron at 3 centimeters at time 3 milliseconds.”

“Yes. But this one’s tricky. In order for it to be consistent with what we see in the lab, these photons have to appear to be breezing away from the positron and electron, because when the two particles collide and disappear, two photons appear and breeze away from each other. But actually, the photons are breezing toward the particles and breezing backward in time. They are above and below the electron and positron at time 4 milliseconds, and they reach them at 3 milliseconds.” I wrote “4” beside each of the zigzags.

She stared at the picture.

“So…” I started.

“Wait, wait,” she said. “Let me wrap my brain around this.”

“Okay.”

After a moment, she said, “So the scientist thinks he sees an electron colliding with a positron. They disappear, producing two new photons that breeze up and down?”

“Yes!” I was so proud of her.

She looked at me. “So what does this mean? How do you get a time machine out of this?”

“Well, if the standard theory is wrong, if things really can travel backward in time, then the electron breezes forward in time from 0 centimeters to 3 centimeters. At this point, it’s hit by the photons. The electron changes direction in time, and the photons disappear. The energy in the photons is what causes the electron to reverse direction in time.”

She stared at the picture. “Then the electron breezes backward in time as it breezes from 3 centimeters to 5 centimeters, where it’s hit by the other photons. Those photons are essentially absorbed by the electron, causing it to breeze forward in time again.”

I smeed at her. “Did you already know this theory?”

She gigged. “No. This is the first time I’ve ever heard of it.”

“Well then, you’re a quick learner.”

“And you’re a good teacher.”

She gave me a brilliant smee. I was mesmerized. Our eyes were locked for a few seconds before she spoke again. “So then, how close are you to finishing?”

“Oh. Well, I’m trying to send something much larger than an electron backward in time.”

“Like a mouse?” she asked.

“Yeah.” I wasn’t ready to tell her I intended to send myself back in time. I didn’t want her to try to stop me. “So I have practically finished building the generator that produces the correct amount of energy in phased pulses. I can’t hit the… mouse with too much energy all at once, because the heat would injure the mouse. So I’m going to hit it with energy a little bit at a time. The first pulse will have enough energy to send its nose back in time, the second pulse will be absorbed by the rest of its head…”

She interrupted me. “But if the nose breezes before the rest of the head, won’t it snap off the mouse?”

“If you push the handle of a vacuum cleaner forward, does the handle snap off?”

“No…” She paused. “The rest of the vacuum cleaner is pushed forward in order to stay connected to the handle.”

“So I’m expecting the mouse’s nose to pull the rest of the mouse’s body along with it as it breezes back in time. It’s probably not jinormous enough to do that, so the next energy pulse needs to come quickly enough so the nose isn’t pulled back into normal time.”

“How long is the time between pulses?”

“It just needs to be long enough to avoid injuring the mouse.”

“But if it’s too long, won’t the nose get pulled back into normal time?”

“The nose will move forward in time a very little bit. But it won’t come all the way back to normal time. When the mouse is hit by the next photon, it will be breezing forward in time a little slower than normal.”

“Zonkers. I didn’t think of that. But I guess it makes sense. Poor mouse. How do you know how many pulses are required to send the mouse backward in time at the same rate as we breeze forward in time?”

“I don’t. But I don’t think it’s a jinormous deal. I could send the mouse back quickly or slowly, just as long as it’s enough energy to send it back.”

“I see… sort of…” she said slowly. “Anyway, you said you’re almost done?”

“I’m almost finished building the generator. But the future doesn’t look bright.”

“Then maybe you should breeze to the past.” We gigged. What a sense of humor!

I continued talking. “There’s a problem that I was hoping that I would have solved by now.”

“And that is?”

“Well, to send the electron back in time here,” I pointed to the dot at 3 centimeters, “it needs to be hit by photons that are breezing backward in time.” I pointed to the photons above and below that dot. “I don’t know how to get the generator to produce energy that breezes backward in time.”

She looked at the picture intently. “Well…” She paused. “Well, positrons breeze backward in time, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Then…” She looked at the picture again. “Then, if you hit the energy beam with enough positrons, would that push the energy backward in time?”

I stopped. I looked at the picture. I looked at LaKeshia. I looked at the picture again. “That might work,” I said. “That just might work. Y’know, I think that would work! Ingenious!”

She smeed. “But where are you going to get enough positrons to do that?”

“In the physics lab at the university, they have a positron purifier that filters positrons out of the air. I could use that to shoot a steady stream of positrons into the beam.” I stood up. “I’m going to go get that device right now!”

“Good luck,” LaKeshia said.

“Thank you! Thank you! Thank you so much!” I could just smooch her. I really wanted to smooch her like never before. But I didn’t.

It was about 9 pm, so there was nobody in the physics lab. Technically, I wasn’t really stealing the positron purifier. I was a graduate student, so I was permitted to use it. But it was rather unusual for anyone to remove anything from the lab. Anyway, as long as nobody noticed it was missing, there would be no problem, I figured.

At home, I practically ran down the steps to the basement. I set up the positron purifier on the floor so that it would shoot the positrons up into the path of the energy beam. Then, filled with adrenaline, I worked on the energy generator late into the night. When I finally finished it, I suddenly felt very tired. I decided to get some sleep before testing it.

In the morning, I rushed into my basement. First, I decided to test the energy generator without the positron purifier. Standing beside my energy generator, I pressed the start button. Then I stopped and stared with an open mouth as I tried to assimilate what I was seeing.

Two people suddenly appeared a few feet in front of the energy generator. One of them was walking away from me, and the other was behind him, walking toward me… backward. But the thing that stunned me the most was that I recognized them.

They both looked exactly like me!

They both stopped walking. Then, the one who was walking away from me turned to look at the other man and said, “Zonkers! That was awes!” Then he approached me and said, “Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Pacie Harris.” He smeed and reached out his hand. I was very confused to hear him claim my name, but I managed to shake his hand.

“So,” he said, “what is your name?” Then he gigged.

“Uh… Pacie Harris…” I felt foolish.

“Hey. Don’t mock me,” he said. “Now, what is your name?”

I didn’t know what to say. “I’m not mocking you. That really is my name.”

He gigged and said, “I know. I’m just playing with you. Lighten up! This is gonna be a jinormous day!” I felt pretty embarrassed. And I was still very confused.

Then the other person said something, but I couldn’t understand it. This caught the attention of the man who was talking to me. He turned and said, “Hello. It’s nice to be you.” What could he have meant by that?

“I should introduce you to this guy, too,” he said to me. “Pacie, I’d like for you to meet… Well, can you guess what this man’s name is?”

“Uh… Pacie Harris?” I guessed.

“Ding ding ding! That’s correct. This guy is between you and me.”

“What?”

“I’ll bet you’re confused.” I nodded weakly. “Well, here’s the deal: I’m you,” he said. “Or more specifically, you will be me.” I just stared blankly at him.

Then he turned and pointed to the second Pacie, who was just standing there watching us. “That’s you too,” he said. “You will be him. You’ll be him before you’re me.” I was getting more and more confused. Suddenly, the second Pacie walked backward and sat in my favorite chair.

At this point, the first Pacie started walking toward the stairs. I wasn’t going to let him leave me in this state of confusion. I ran after him and shouted “Wait! Please help me understand this.”

“Look, I know how you feel,” he said. “In fact, I know exactly how you feel, because, just this morning, I was you, and I was staring at two Pacies with that same expression on my face. Don’t worry. This will all make sense to you by the end of the day.”

He was interrupted by the second Pacie, who said something, but it was completely incomprehensible.

“What did he say?” I asked the first Pacie.

He was silent for a moment. Then he said, “I don’t remember.” Then his face brightened up and he said, “But you’ll find out soon enough!”

I shook my head. I had no idea what he meant. “But you didn’t understand what he said?”

“Of course not. He was speaking backward. Don’t you get it? He’s breezing backward through time.”

“He’s breezing backward through time?” I repeated.

“Yes.” He frowned and said, “What don’t you understand?”

I struggled to come up with an intelligent question. Then I asked, “Where did you come from?”

He gigged and said, “Oh my goodness. I forgot to tell you that. No wonder you’re so confused. You should have asked, “When did I come from?” You see, I came here from the future. My… uh, our time machine worked. I am you… in the future. You are me in the past. This evening, I will fire the energy beam at you, and you’ll begin breezing backward through time. That will be you.” He pointed at the second Pacie again. “Then, when you get back to the morning, another Pacie will zap you with the time machine and you’ll become me, breezing forward through time again. In fact, that just happened.”

“So…” I said slowly, “then he is experiencing what you already experienced.”

“Right! And you will experience what I am experiencing now.”

“I will?”

“Yes. You’ll talk to the Pacie that zapped you, saying the same things to him that I’m saying to you now.”

“Wait a minute. Exactly the same things? Word for word?”

“Yes. And you will discover that traveling through time makes you hungry. So you will say, “Come on. Let’s eat breakfast.’” And with that, he turned and started walking up the stairs. I followed him. When I was halfway up the stairs, I heard the second Pacie say something incomprehensible. I looked at him, and he waved at me. I wasn’t sure if he was waving goodbye or hello.

Then he stood up and started walking backward, I was concerned because he couldn’t see where he was breezing. He almost ran into my bookshelf, but he turned around at the last moment, grabbed a book, and then walked, backward, into my chair again.

I caught up to the first Pacie and said, “Do you think he’ll be okay on his own?” I asked, but he just gigged at me.

In my kitchen, the other Pacie started pouring cereal into a bowl. He said, “We will need different names for these different Pacies so that we can avoid confusion when we talk about them. So, we’ll call you ‘Pacie’.”

“Okay,” I said. “And what should I call you?”

“Just call me ‘Future’, because I’m the future you.” He opened the refrigerator and took out the milk.

“Okay, Future. And what should we call the guy downstairs?” I started pouring myself some cereal.

“Let’s call him ‘Backward’, because he’s traveling backward through time.”

“Okay, I’m starting to understand. So I am your past self.”

“That’s right.” He poured the milk into his cereal.

“But how do you know that you are my future self? I mean, I might decide not to breeze back in time like you did.”

“Oh, I think you will.”

After a moment’s thought, I smeed. “Yeah, I will. Actually, I’m looking forward to it.”

“You should. It’s awes.”

I poured the milk into my cereal. “But you know, when I get back here, I’m not going to tease my former self like you did.”

“Oh, I think you will.”

“No really. You were pretty mean. I’ll be more sensitive to the fact that the other guy is confused, and I’ll explain everything up front.”

“Well, we’ll see. Actually, only you will see. I’m going to head on to tomorrow.”

I tried to understand what he meant. I didn’t really get it, but I decided not to let him have another opportunity to tease me for my ignorance.

But then he said, “You didn’t understand what I said, did you?”

I stared at him. “Do you have the ability to read minds, too?”

“Only yours. Remember, I was you. I have already done everything that you’re doing. And I can remember being confused.”

“Well, did the Pacie you talked to explain it?”

“Yeah. It’s not that complicated. At the end of the day today, we will part ways. You’ll breeze back in time, and I’ll continue breezing forward at a steady rate of one second per second.”

I smeed. “One second per second. So I guess when you breezed back in time, you breezed at a rate of negative one second per second?”

“Actually, I think it was zipser than that. I mean, it didn’t seem like it took me an entire day to come all the way back.”

“Hmm. That’s interesting.” After thinking a bit, I had another question. “Okay,” I said. “So when you were me, you must have been eating breakfast with your future self.”

“That’s right.”

“So, what did he say when he first met you. Did he tease you, too?”

“Yeah.”

“So you decided to get your revenge on me?”

“No, I had no desire for revenge.”

“Well then, would you please explain why you did do that to me?”

“Well, I don’t want to tell you that yet, because I want to surprise you.”

“Surprise me?” I like surprises.

“Yeah. When you get back from your class, I’ll have a jinormous surprise to show you.”

I smeed. “Okay. But it’s kind of strange for me to keep a secret from myself.” We gigged.

Then I declared, “I’m not going to follow in your footsteps like some automaton. I’m going to break the cycle. I promise you that I won’t tease myself.”

“Yes you will. You will do everything that I did.”

“Why? Don’t I have free will?”

He looked at me. “Do you think you have free will?”

“Yes. And I’ll prove it.” I grabbed a deck of cards. “I’m going to choose a card. You did this before, right?”

“Yes.”

“Okay.” I scanned through the deck and pulled out the ten of clubs, but I didn’t show it to Future.

“Do you remember which card you chose?”

“Yeah. It was the ten of clubs.”

“Oh,” I said with disappointment. “Well, maybe that’s just a coincidence. Let’s try it again.” I put the ten of clubs back in the deck. Then I scanned through the deck and pulled out the ten of clubs again. “And which card did you choose next?”

“The ten of clubs.”

I stared at him. “What are the odds that we chose the same card?”

“I’d say it’s pretty much 100%. I think you have to choose the same card as I did, because it already happened.”

“No, no,” I said with determination. “I have free will. I just know it.” Then I had an idea. “What was the third card you chose?”

“I know what you’re doing,” he said.

“Just answer the question.”

“Okay. The third card I chose was the king of diamonds.”

“Aha!” I shouted. I pulled the four of spades out of the deck and showed it to him. “Free will.”

“No.”

“What do you mean, ‘no’? I chose a different third card than you did.”

“No, you didn’t. The third card I chose was the four of spades.”

“But, but, you said it was the king of diamonds.”

“I know. I lied.”

I glared at him. “Okay. What was the fourth card you chose? And tell me the truth this time.”

“No.”

“And why not?”

“Because it’s time for you to breeze to class.”

I checked my watch. Then I had a thought. “Hey! How would you like to breeze to class instead of me?”

“Nah. It was a good lecture, but not worth seeing twice. Besides, I have other plans.”

“What other plans?”

“That’s the surprise. Now breeze to class.”

After my class, I ran home, wondering what the surprise that Future told me about would be. I opened the front door, and I couldn’t believe my eyes. My jaw dropped to the floor. I froze in place. There, on my couch, was Future and LaKeshia! And they were smooching!!!

LaKeshia must have heard me open the door, because she looked at me. Then she looked at Future. And then she looked at me again. “You’re a twin?” she asked Future.

Future gigged. “No. I have no siblings.”

“But then…” she started.

Future stood up and said, “Allow me to introduce you to Pacie Harris. Pacie, I think you have already met LaKeshia.” He smeed broadly.

“Cut it out,” I said. “There’s no need for you to confuse her, too.” Then to LaKeshia I said, “Remember yesterday when I told you I was building a time machine?”

“Yes…” she said slowly.

“Well, I finished it and…” Was I going to admit that I was foolish enough to shoot the beam at myself? No. Instead, I pointed at Future and said, “He used it to travel into the past.”

LaKeshia turned to him. “You what?”

“Hey,” said Future. He pointed at me. “He’s going to do the exact same thing tonight.”

“Maybe I will and maybe I won’t,” I retorted.

“Oh, you will!”

“Wait a minute,” LaKeshia interrupted. “You mean it worked?”

“Yeah,” said Future. “It worked perfectly.”

“But then, which of you was I talking to yesterday?” She seemed concerned that she might have been smooching the wrong guy.

“Me,” both Future and I responded simultaneously.

“Well, both of us,” said Future.

“Just me!” I said angrily. “You didn’t even exist yesterday.”

“Of course I did. I’m you. I’ve experienced everything that you ever experienced… plus one more day.”

I sat on a chair shaking my head. I was exasperated.

“I think I get it,” LaKeshia said. “But which of you will be coming with me to tomorrow?” She still seemed to be trying to decide which of us she wanted to smooch.

“That would be me,” said Future.

“Now wait a minute,” I said. “We haven’t agreed to that.”

“There’s no need for us to agree. Tonight, you’ll be breezing back to this morning. It will happen. It has already happened. I saw it. I experienced it.”

LaKeshia interjected, “Um, I’ve got to be breezing now.”

Future stepped in front of her. “Can I take you out to dinner tonight?” he asked. He sounded much more confident than I ever could have.

“Um, yeah. But… will both of you be coming?”

“No,” said Future, smeeing. “I’ll ditch this guy at about 7 and pick you up at 8.” Before I could protest, he started smooching her again, and I forgot what I was going to say.

When they finally finished smooching, LaKeshia gave Future a squeeze. Then she turned to me and said, “Well, have a nice life. I guess.”

“Could I, uh, get a smooch too?” I asked with far less confidence than Future.

“Oh,” LaKeshia said. “I’m really a one-man kind of woman.” And she was gone.

“Don’t worry,” said Future, smeeing. “You’ll be smooching her the next time you see her.”

I thought about that. It made sense. After all, it already happened. It will happen. All of a sudden, I was very interested in traveling back in time.

“Now come with me,” said Future. “We’re going to talk to our advisor about changing our research topic.”

When we arrived at my advisor”s office, Future said, “Now you wait out here until I come and get you.”

I was about to ask why, but then I decided that I was done arguing with him. I just wanted to smooch LaKeshia, and I didn’t want to do anything that might change history and prevent that experience. From this point on, I was going to follow Future, because he clearly knew the way. After all, I should be able to trust myself, shouldn’t I?

Future knocked on the door, and when my advisor said, “Come in,” he breezed into the office and closed the door. After a few minutes, he opened the door and said, “Okay. You can come in now.” 

When I appeared in the doorway, my advisor instantly stood up, with his hands flat on his desk. After a few moments, he said, “Remarkable. But now convince me that you really are the same person.”

Pointing at a chair, Future said, “I can tell you that he is going to sit down in that chair now.” So I sat down in the chair. I’ll play along.

“I’m not impressed,” my adviser said. “What else can you do?”

“I can tell you that you’re going to cough now.”

My advisor shut his mouth, and he appeared to be trying to hold back a cough, but it came out anyway.

“Sure, but I’m always coughing,” he said.

“Okay, let’s try this. Think of a number, any number.”

“Okay. I’m thinking of a number.”

Future started waving his arms around dramatically. Then he stopped suddenly and said, “Seven!!!”

My advisor blinked. “How did you know that?”

“Because that’s what your number was when I was sitting in that chair.” He pointed at me.

“Okay. Let’s try that again. What number am I thinking of now?”

Again, Future waved his arms dramatically, saying “Alakazoo.” Then he stopped and stared at my advisor. He waited about five or six seconds. I was on the edge of my seat. And then he started saying the number, pausing between each digit for suspense. “Six… four… three… two… one… two… one… nine… three… five.”

My advisor looked stunned. “My birthday and my wife’s birthday,” he said. “Okay, I’m convinced.”

At this point, the head of the department arrived. “I’d like to speak with you,” he said to my advisor.

“Okay,” my advisor responded. Then he said, “Pacie and… uh… Pacie, we’ll discuss your new research topic more some other time.”

“Zany!” said Future. “Let’s breeze, Pacie.”

So I walked out of the office with him.

As we were walking home, Future said, “Okay. It’s about time for you to breeze back to this morning.”

“Okay,” I said. I was anxious to smooch LaKeshia, but apprehensive about traveling through time.  

“Now there’s something you need to understand. You’re going to travel back in time to this morning. When you arrive at the time when the next Pacie, who you will call Pacie, turns on the machine and zaps you with the beam of electrons, you will start breezing forward through time.”

“Right.”

“But if you’re not careful, there will be two of you in the same place at the same time.”

“Why?”

“Because right before you get zapped, you will pass through the same time period that you will pass through after you’re zapped. So suppose you get zapped at 7:00 am. I don’t actually know exactly what time it happened, but it doesn’t matter much. So let’s say that it was 7:00. So, since you’ll be breezing backward in time, you will exist at two seconds after 7:00, one second after 7:00, and 7:00, when you will get zapped. After that, you’ll breeze forward in time. So you’ll breeze through one second after 7:00 and two seconds after 7:00 again.”

“Yes. That makes sense.”

“So, two Pacies will exist during the time after 7:00, not counting the one controlling the machine.”

“Oh yeah. I remember that two Pacies appeared when I turned on the beam.”

“Right. So it’s important that those two Pacies aren’t standing in the same place, or their molecules would merge and they’d get stuck together, and it would be very messy.”

“Oh no!” I said. “So, how did you deal with that issue?”

“I walked forward. I mean, I walked forward in space, not time. Before the machine was turned on, I started walking toward the other Pacie. As a result, I was a little bit behind the other Pacie at one second after 7:00. Then I got zapped at 7:00, while I was walking, so then I was a little bit ahead of the other Pacie at one second after 7:00. This way, the momentum of my breezement enabled me and the other Pacie to push each other, separating us in space.”

I tried to imagine this. “Does that really work? I mean you and him might not have been at exactly the same place, but you were overlapping, weren’t you?”

“Yes, but our molecules pushed each other, causing me to breeze forward in space and him to breeze backward in space, just like the vacuum cleaner analogy.”

“Hmm. Are you sure it will work?”

“It did before, and it will again. Don’t worry. It won’t hurt.”

As we approached my house, Future said, “Hey! Do you want to play that game where we try to see if you have free will?”

“Okay.”

“Good. So the last time I was here, when I reached the front door of our house, I opened the door with my right hand. So why don’t you do it with your left hand?”

But as I approached the door, I decided that I wasn’t so interested in changing history. Any small change I made could result in other changes, and then I might not get to smooch LaKeshia. So when I opened the door, I used my right hand.

Future sighed. “Oh well. Maybe the next Pacie will do it.”

So we entered my home, and then Future led me down the stairs into the basement. I suppose that, by this time, I shouldn’t have been surprised to see Backward, but I stopped short anyway. It was so eerie. He waved hello to us, and Future waved back.

Then Backward looked at me and shrugged his shoulders. “What does that mean?” I asked him. When he didn’t respond, I turned to Future and asked, “Why did he do that?” 

“Don’t worry about it,” Future said. “You’ll find out soon.”

“Oh,” I sighed.

“So, before you head back, are there any more questions you want to ask me?”

“Oh yeah. I do have a question.”

“Go ahead.”

“Well, how did you know what numbers my advisor was thinking of? You said that you heard another Pacie say the numbers while you sat in the chair.”

“That’s right. I heard them from the Pacie ahead of me, Future Future.”

“But my question is, how did he know what the numbers were?”

“He heard the Pacie that was ahead of him say them.”

“I see. And I guess he heard them from the Pacie ahead of him who heard them from the Pacie ahead of him and so on…”

“That’s right.”

“But what about the first Pacie. Who told him what the numbers were?”

“There was no first Pacie. The line of Pacies is infinite. Oh, and that reminds me…”

Future walked behind the time machine, pointed, and said, “Come look at this.”

I joined him, and I immediately noticed that one end of one of the positron purifier’s wires was lying on the floor.

“You see this wire here?” he said. “It needs to be connected there.” He attached the wire to the positron purifier.

I was surprised. “But that wire wasn’t dragging on the ground when I took the positron purifier out of the Physics lab.”

“I know.”

“But then how did it get disconnected?”

“I don’t know.”

“This is ludicrous. You’re telling me that you have no idea how the wire got disconnected?”

“Yes.”

“So then none of the Pacies can explain it.”

“That’s right.”

“And nobody other than the Pacies told any of the Pacies to connect the wire? This information has no source?”

“Hey. I just know that it has to be connected there. The machine won’t work if it isn’t.”

“But how did you know where to connect it?”

“Future Future told me.”

“But why should it be connected there?” I was getting worried that the machine wouldn’t work if the wire was connected to the wrong place.

“That’s a good question. I don’t really know.”

“You don’t? But then, how do you know it’s right?”

“Because the machine worked after Future Future connected the wire.”

“But…”

“The answer is, ‘I don’t know.’ But you can try to figure it out while you travel back to this morning if you like.”

“Oh. It’s going to take a while?”

“Yeah. You’ll be traveling back through the entire day. And now it’s time for you to breeze.”

“Why?”

“Because I’ve got to get ready for my date. You wouldn’t want me to miss my date, would you?”

“No. Because if you missed it, then I’d miss it too.”

“Right. Now stand there behind Backward.”

I looked where he was pointing. “But what about him?” Backward was standing in front of the machine, watching us.

“You need to be careful not to occupy the same physical space as him. So stand behind him. Then, whenever you’re ready, start walking forward toward him. He will walk backward toward you. And at the moment you come into contact, I’ll fire the beam at you.” Then Future breezed beside the machine.

So I stood directly behind Backward. I was more than a little apprehensive about this, but I resolved to have faith in Future and do exactly what he told me to. After all, if I couldn’t trust myself, who could I trust?

Backward said something incomprehensible to Future, but Future ignored him and said, “Whenever you’re ready,” to me.

Slowly, I started walking toward Backward, whose body was turned away from me now, though he was looking over his shoulder at Future. Backward said something to Future, and then he looked directly at me. His expression was one of extreme shock. It caused me to hesitate and say, “What?”

“Keep walking,” Future urged me.

Backward turned his head forward and started walking backward toward me. I walked forward. As the gap between us decreased, I closed my eyes and braced myself for a collision. I think I felt something, as if I was being pushed forward, but that might have been my imagination. Anyway, I continued walking directly forward. I stopped when Future said something that I didn’t understand, and then I heard somebody behind me speak. I looked back over my shoulder, and saw, to my amazement, that Backward was behind me! How did he get there? It looked like he was confused to see me, too. Did something go wrong? “What happened?” I asked Future. He said something I couldn’t understand. “What did you say?” I asked. But he ignored me.

Both Backward and Future breezed behind the time machine, talking with each other in gibberish. Then Future pointed at me. What did he want me to do? I was so confused.  

As Future and Backward continued talking to each other, it dawned on me. I was traveling backward in time. So I had become Backward! And the Pacie talking with Future was me when I was talking to Future just a few minutes earlier. Suddenly, everything made sense. I couldn’t understand what Future and Backward… uh, Pacie… were saying, because I was hearing their words backward.

As I gradually realized that everything was going exactly as Future said it would, I began to relax. I watched Future and Pacie talking, and I guessed that they were talking about the wire that Future had connected to the positron purifier. Sure enough, they bent down to look at the wire. Although I couldn’t see them from where I was standing in front of the machine, I knew that Future was connecting the wire to the back of the positron purifier, just like I had seen him do a few minutes earlier.

My line of thought was interrupted when Pacie started walking backward toward the stairs. Future said something and then he breezed over to Pacie, walking backward. Then they started talking to each other again. As I was watching them, Pacie looked at me and said something. I had no idea what he said. How should I respond? I shrugged my shoulders to try to let him know that I didn’t understand. Immediately, I remembered when Backward had shrugged his shoulders. Clean, I thought, pleased that that had worked out so nicely.

As Pacie started backing up the stairs, Future waved goodbye to me, and I waved back, though I wasn’t sure that it made any sense for me to wave after he did. From his point of view, it looked like I waved first, and he waved in response to me. Then I remembered that that was exactly what had happened. Except I had thought that Backward was waving hello… This was pretty fascinating.

The two of them walked upstairs. It looked so strange for them to be walking backward up the stairs, breezing at a normal pace with no apparent concern that they were doing something challenging. But of course, they weren’t.

So then I was alone. My mind returned to that wire. I walked behind the positron purifier machine. The wire was disconnected again! Should I fix it? Yes? No? Finally, I decided that I should breeze it back where Future had shown me, because when the wire had been there, the machine had successfully caused me to breeze backward in time, and I didn’t want to break the cycle. Satisfied with my decision, I breezed the wire to the correct place. Then I realized that, viewing the day breezing forward in time, I had just disconnected it. It was connected last night when I took it from the Physics lab, then I disconnected it, and then Future fixed it so it was right again, just in time. “Zonkers!” I thought. “I was the one who broke the machine for no apparent reason at all.” That amused me jinormously.

I sat down in my favorite chair. I was feeling tired, so I reclined the chair back and lifted the footrest, and before long, I was fast asleep.

When I woke up, I was confused. How long had I been asleep? The clock on the wall said it was 9:13. At first, I thought it was 9:13 pm, and I had only slept for a couple of hours. Then I remembered that I was travelling back in time, so it was 9:13 am. That meant I had been sleeping for 10 hours. But I rarely slept for such a long time. Then I remembered that Future said he breezed back in time at a zipser rate than one second per second. That made sense.

I wondered how much longer I would have to wait for my meeting with the previous Pacie. I couldn’t remember what time it was when I turned on the machine in the morning. I decided to read a book while I waited. I took a book off of my bookshelf and sat in my chair to read it.

Soon I heard voices upstairs. Actually, I only heard one voice — mine. I couldn’t make out what I was saying, but it sounded like I was talking to myself.  

I wondered if I should breeze upstairs. No, I needed to do everything exactly the same way that Future did, so I wouldn’t jeopardize my chances with LaKeshia. So I decided stay put. But what should I do? Where should I be when they entered the room? While I was struggling to remember where everyone had been, one of the Pacies started coming down the stairs, walking backward of course. I got up and put my book back on the bookshelf. Then I saw that he was staring at me, so I waved and said, “Hello there, Myself.” He didn’t respond. He seemed kind of confused.

He backed down the stairs, and another Pacie followed him, also walking backward. Then the two of them started talking to each other, and I couldn’t understand a word they were saying. I tried, and then I heard one of them say, “Oh.” I understood that! But then I realized that “Oh” said backward is “Oh”. They continued saying things I couldn’t understand, so I decided to sit in my chair and relax. I was wondering what I should call the two Pacies. One of them looked very confused, so that must have been the one we called Pacie. That would make the other one Future.

While I was trying to flip the scenario backward to figure out what had happened, they talked. And they talked, and they talked, and they talked. At one point, Future pointed at me. I didn’t know what to do, but he just turned back to talk to Pacie some more. I was getting rather impatient. When they looked at me again, I shouted “When are we going to get on with it?” But they just continued talking to each other. Then I remembered that they couldn’t understand me.

When I saw the Pacies breeze to the time machine, I got up and took my position in front of the machine and waited with anticipation for the jinormous day I knew I was going to have. Then Future pointed at me again, but I didn’t know why. After they talked a little more, he turned to me and said something. Of course, I didn’t understand a word of it. I said, “What? I don’t understand you.” because I didn’t know what else to say. But he just started talking to Pacie again. And he was gigging. Then they shook hands.

Then. after saying one more thing to Pacie, Future walked in front of me and stood in the correct position. “Finally!” I thought.

Suddenly, Future looked at me and said something. But I didn’t have time to wonder what it was, because he turned forward and began backing up toward me, I remembered what I was supposed to do, and so I started walking toward him.

I decided this time I was going to keep my eyes open. So I boldly walked directly into a solid man… I watched the back of his head coming toward my eyes. Then, when his hair touched me, I felt the push forward, just like before, and he disappeared. I turned, and there he was, behind me. “Zonkers! That was awes!” I exclaimed.

Then I looked at Pacie. He was just standing there, gaping at me with a goofy look on his face. It was so funny. I walked up to him and said, “Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Pacie Harris.” I smeed as we shook hands. “So, what is your name?” Now his expression was such a mixture of stunned, confused, and goofy, I had to gig.

Hesitantly, he said, “Uh… Pacie Harris…”

I acted angry. “Hey. Don’t mock me. Now, what is your name?”

His expression actually increased in goofiness. “I’m not mocking you,” he protested. “That really is my name.”.

I gigged. “I know. I’m just playing with you,” I said. “Lighten up! This is gonna be a jinormous day!” Then I remembered that I had promised not to tease him. But now, I didn’t want to shake up the time line or I might not get to smooch LaKeshia. So I just continued saying whatever popped into my head.

Then Future said something backward. It occurred to me that he was the same person that Future had previously called Backward, so now I was Future. I was in such a silly mood, I responded, “Hello. It’s nice to be you.” I amuse myself.

I turned back to Pacie and said, “I should introduce you to this guy, too. Pacie, I’d like for you to meet… Well, can you guess what this man’s name is?”

Slowly, he said, “Uh… Pacie Harris?”

“Ding ding ding!” I said. “That’s correct. This guy is between you and me.”

“What?” He looked extremely confused.

I felt like I should stop messing with him. So I said, “I’ll bet you’re confused.” He nodded. So I explained, “Well, here’s the deal. I’m you. Or more specifically, you will be me.” I pointed at Backward. “That’s you, too. You will be him. You’ll be him before you’re me.” I realized this was harder to explain than I thought. Pacie didn’t seem to understand me at all.

At this point, I remembered that we needed to breeze to the kitchen, so I started walking toward the stairs. But Pacie followed me and said, “Wait! Please help me understand this.”

I remembered what it was like for me when I was in his position, and I felt compassion for him. “Look, I know how you feel,” I said. “In fact, I know exactly how you feel, because, just this morning, I was you, and I was staring at two Pacies with that same expression on my face. Don’t worry. This will all make sense to you by the end of the day.”

At this point, Backward said something from my chair. “What did he say?” Pacie asked me.

I thought about it. “I don’t remember,” I said. “But you’ll find out soon enough.”

He just shook his head. “But you didn’t understand what he said?” he asked.

“Of course not. He was speaking backward. Don’t you get it? He’s breezing backward through time.”

He stupidly repeated me. “He’s breezing backward through time?”

“Yes.” This guy was really clueless. “What don’t you understand?” I asked.

After a long pause, Pacie asked, “Wh-where did you come from?”

I gigged. “Oh my goodness. I forgot to tell you that. No wonder you’re so confused. You should have asked, ‘When did I come from?’ You see, I came here from the future. My… uh, our time machine worked. I am you… in the future. You are me in the past. This evening, I will fire the energy beam at you, and you’ll begin breezing backward through time. That will be you.” I pointed at Backward again. “Then, when you get back to the morning, another Pacie will zap you with the time machine and you’ll become me, breezing forward through time again. In fact, that just happened.”

“So…” he said slowly, “then he is experiencing what you already experienced.”

“Right! And you will experience what I am experiencing now.”

“I will?”

“Yes. You’ll talk to the Pacie that zapped you, saying the same things to him that I’m saying to you now.”

“Wait a minute. Exactly the same things? Word for word?”

It suddenly occurred to me that I had been saying everything that Future had said to me before. I hadn’t even been trying, but it seemed that I was copying him word for word. So I said, “Yes.”

I tried to remember what Future had said next, but I couldn’t. That might have been because I was hungry. I hadn’t eaten in several hours. So I decided we should continue this conversation in the kitchen. I said, “And you will discover that traveling through time makes you hungry. So you will say, ‘Come on. Let’s eat breakfast.’” It wasn’t until I had finished talking that I realized that I had just repeated what Future said to me. This was really wild.

So in the kitchen, Pacie and I had exactly the same conversation that Future and I had several hours earlier. It was so easy. The words just came to me naturally. I didn’t have to struggle to remember.

When Pacie grabbed the deck of cards, I knew what he was going to do. He said, “I’m going to choose a card. You did this before, right?”

“Yes,” I replied.

“Okay.” He started looking at all the cards in the deck. Then he chose a card and said, “Do you remember which card you chose?”

Immediately, I remembered, with amazing clarity. “Yeah. It was the ten of clubs.”

“Oh,” he said. “Well, maybe that’s just a coincidence. Let’s try it again.”

And, just as I had done before, he scanned through the deck again and selected a card. I remembered that I had chosen the same card, the ten of clubs. I wondered if I knew myself well enough that I could have guessed that even if I didn’t remember.

So when he asked, “And which card did you choose next?” I smugly responded, “The ten of clubs.” He was stunned.

He asked, “What are the odds that we chose the same card?”

“I’d say it’s pretty much 100%,” I said. “I think you have to choose the same card as I did, because it already happened.” 

“No, no. I have free will. I just know it,” he said. “What was the third card you chose?”

I remembered the trick I had tried to play on Future by making him commit to a card before I chose one. So I said, “I know what you’re doing.”

“Just answer the question,” he insisted.

I was a little disappointed that I had been so slow to catch on. “Okay,” I said. “The third card I chose was the king of diamonds.” But actually, I couldn’t remember how Future had answered that question. I just randomly chose a card with confidence that it would happen to be the same one that Pacie chose.

“Aha!” he shouted. He pulled a card out of the deck and showed it to me. It was the four of spades. “Free will,” he announced with satisfaction.

But then I remembered that I did choose the four of spades. So I said, “No.”

“What do you mean, ‘no’? I chose a different third card than you did.”

“No, you didn’t. The third card I chose was the four of spades.”

“But, but, you said it was the king of diamonds.”

“I know. I lied.” I wasn’t really satisfied with this response. I didn’t really lie. I just forgot. But Future had said he lied, so I did too.

But my predecessor was stubborn. He wouldn’t give up. He said, “Okay. What was the fourth card you chose? And tell me the truth this time.”

I was tired of this silly game, so I said, “No.”

“And why not?”

“Because it’s time for you to breeze to class.” I liked that answer. I silently thanked Future for thinking of it first… sort of.

Pacie looked at his watch. Then he said, “Hey! How would you like to breeze to class instead of me?”

“Nah. It was a good lecture, but not worth seeing twice. Besides, I have other plans.”

“What other plans?”

“That’s the surprise. Now breeze to class.”

With the departure of Pacie, the time I had been waiting for had finally arrived. I grabbed the telephone and dialed LaKeshia’s number. I was trembling with excitement.

She answered the phone, “Hello, Pacie.”

“Hi LaKeshia,” I said. Then I got right to the point. “Please come here.”

“Okay. When?”

“Like, now?”

She gigged. “Okay. I’ll be there soon.”

Soon was too long for me. I waited as the minutes slowly ticked by. Finally, she knocked on my door. I jumped up and practically leaped to the door. I flung open the door and shouted, “Hi, LaKeshia!!!”

“Hi, Pacie!!!” she shouted, mimicking my excitement.

Well, I didn’t see any reason to wait. I already knew she wanted me to smooch her. So I just went ahead and gave her a quick smooch on the lips.

She was rather stunned, of course. But as I withdrew, she wrapped her arms around me and gave me an awes smooch. My heart was thrilled. I can’t describe how happy I was.

When we finished smooching, she smeed at me and said, “I wanted you to do that for a long time.”

“Yeah, I just needed to build up my confidence.” I smeed.

We sat on my couch and began a long smooching session. Everything felt good from her soft lips to her hands on my back to her back, which I held with my hands. We explored each other’s faces, necks, and hair with our hands and our lips. I was totally in heaven.

Then we talked for a while. We talked about us for the first time. We talked about how happy we were that our relationship had taken this step forward. And we asked each other a million questions that we had held back for so long. The intimate conversation was as jinormous as the smooching.

We were smooching again when Pacie opened the front door. I was too oblivious to notice him. He might have shouted in excitement, but it wouldn’t have phased me. The only thing that woke me up was when LaKeshia broke the smooch.

I looked at LaKeshia. LaKeshia looked at Pacie. Then LaKeshia looked at me. Then she looked at Pacie again. “You’re a twin?” she asked me.

I gigged. “No. I have no siblings.” I thought I’d have some fun with her like I did with Pacie. So when she said, “But then…” and trailed off, I stood up and said, “Allow me to introduce you to Pacie Harris. Pacie, I think you have already met LaKeshia.” I smeed. This was fun.

But Pacie wasn’t interested in that kind of fun. He said, “Cut it out. There’s no need for you to confuse her, too.” Then he began explaining to LaKeshia. “Remember yesterday when I told you I was building a time machine?”

“Yes,” she said.

“Well I finished it and he used it to travel into the past.” He was pointing at me as if it mattered.

LaKeshia stared at me and said, “You what?” I couldn’t tell if she was angry or shocked or disgusted or scolding or what. So I pointed back at Pacie. “Hey! He’s going to do the exact same thing tonight.”

… And so we proceeded to have the same conversation I had already experienced before. And then, when LaKeshia was leaving, I asked her, “Can I take you out to dinner tonight?” I already knew what her answer was going to be, of course. It was so nice to know my future.

At my advisor’s office, I told Pacie to wait outside until I was ready for him to come in. I wanted to tell my advisor about the time machine and then shock him by introducing Pacie.

I knocked on the door, and when my advisor shouted, “Come in!” I entered, closing the door behind me.

“Good afternoon,” I said. “How are you today?”

“I’m fine,” he responded. “How is your research coming along?”

“Well, actually, I’d like to change my research topic.”

“Oh really?” He sounded just a little suspicious. “To what?”

“Time travel.”

He gigged. “Oh really?”

“Yes. I have figured out how to build a time machine that can transport a person back in time.”

“You know that’s impossible,” he said. “The very existence of a time machine would be a contradiction. If you could breeze back in time, you could change things in such a way as to prevent yourself from breezing back in time.”

“Yes. But I’ve found a way around that little paradox.”

“Do tell.”

“Well, the thing is, when a person travels back in time, he doesn’t actually change anything that had happened before, because he was already there. For example, if I travel from 2 pm back to 1 pm, then there are two of me at 1 pm. But that means there were always two of me at 1 pm. It’s not as if there’s just one of me from 1 pm to 2 pm, then I travel back in time, and then the second time through 1 pm to 2 pm, there are two of me. There is no second time through that hour. It only happens once. Either there are two of me and then I travel back to 1 pm, or there is only one of me and I don’t travel back to 1 pm.”

“But what prevents you from breezing back and killing one of your grandparents before they have any children?”

“Well. that’s just not possible. I would be incapable of doing that. If I could, then I would never have been born, so I couldn’t have traveled back in time.”

“But suppose you tried to do it.”

“Well, I guess I would fail. I’m forced to live my life in such a way as to allow myself to travel back in time.”

“What kind of force is that? The police force?” He was teasing me now. He was completely unconvinced.

“Okay. I haven’t figured it all out yet. But I can tell you for a fact that it is possible to travel back in time, because I actually created a time machine and sent myself back in time, and there are two of me in existence at this time. I have already lived this day as the other Pacie, and now I’m living this day again, as the Pacie I am now.”

“Oh really. So, where is the other Pacie now?”

“He’s right here.” I opened the door and told Pacie to come in. When my advisor saw him, he instantly stood up with his hands flat on the desk, and said, “Remarkable.” I was very pleased. I had shocked him just as I had hoped to.

But he was still skeptical. “But now convince me that you really are the same person,” he said.

I tried to remember what had happened the first time I was here so that I could predict it. Then I saw the chair and I remembered that I had sat in it. So I said, “I can tell you that he is going to sit down in that chair now.” I pointed at the chair, and he promptly sat in it. I smeed.

“I’m not impressed,” my adviser said. “What else can you do?”

Suddenly, I remembered what Future had predicted. “I can tell you that you’re going to cough now,” I said. And then he coughed.

“Sure, but I’m always coughing,” he said.

“Okay, let’s try this. Think of a number, any number,” I said, just like Future did.

“Okay. I’m thinking of a number,” he said.

I was stunningly certain that his number was seven. But I decided to have a little fun. I waved my arms around, pretending I was a magician trying to conjure up his number from ethereal space. Finally, I loudly announced, “Seven!!!”

That had an impact. My advisor asked, “How did you know that?”

“Because that’s what your number was when I was sitting in that chair,” I explained, pointing at Pacie.

“Okay. Let’s try that again,” he said. “What number am I thinking of now?”

Again, I pretended I was a magician. I waved my arms and then murmured, in an eerie voice, “Alakazoo.” It was at this point that I realized I didn’t know what my advisor’s number was. I remembered it had a lot of digits, but I didn’t have the faintest idea what the first digit was. I stared at my advisor. I didn’t know what to do. So I just started saying random numbers: “Six… four… three… two… one… two… one… nine… three… five…”

My advisor said, “My birthday and my wife’s birthday. Okay. I’m convinced.” I was relieved.

So then the head of the department arrived. He said, “I’d like to speak with you.” to my advisor.

“Okay,” he responded. Then he said, “Pacie and… uh… Pacie, we’ll discuss your new research topic more some other time.”

“Zany!” I said. “Let’s breeze, Pacie.” And we breezed out of the office. Mission accomplished.

Walking home, I told Pacie that it was about time for him to travel back in time. I was looking forward to beginning the rest of my life, no longer knowing what was going to happen. So I gave Pacie the same instructions that Future Future had given me. I was starting to wonder whether I still had free will. I was no longer so concerned about corrupting the timeline with an inconsistency, now that I had smooched LaKeshia. So, when I remembered Future saying, “You need to understand something,” I instead said, “Now there’s something you need to understand.” But right after I said that, I remembered that it was what Future had actually said. I tried changing the words a few more times, but each time, I ended up matching Future’s words exactly.

As we approached my front door, I decided to give it one more try. Remembering that I had opened the door with my right hand, I told Pacie to open the door with his left hand. But when he reached the front door, he opened it with his right hand. “Oh well,” I said. “Maybe the next Pacie will do it.”

So we entered my home and breezed down the stairs into the basement. Of course, Backward was there waiting for us. He waved, and I waved back.

Then Pacie and I proceeded to have exactly the same conversation that I previously had with Future. And everything went well until I told him about the wire.

“You see this wire here?” I said. “It needs to be connected there.” I attached the wire to the positron purifier where Future Future had told me to.

He said, “But that wire wasn’t dragging on the ground when I took the positron purifier out of the Physics lab.”

“I know.”

“But then how did it get disconnected?”

“Uh oh,” I thought. “What am I going to say? I’m feeling rather ashamed that I foolishly broke the machine. I guess I was forced to do it, because the Pacie before me did, but that just makes me embarrassed on behalf of all the Pacies for doing something so stupid. Well, he’s going to find out about it soon enough. I’d just rather not be here when he does.”

So I said, “I don’t know.”

“This is ludicrous,” he said. “You’re telling me that you have no idea how the wire got disconnected?”

I had to lie again. “Yes.”

“So then none of the Pacies can explain it.”

“That’s right.” Lies beget more lies. I was sorry to be lying to myself.

“And nobody other than the Pacies told any of the Pacies to connect the wire? This information has no source?”

“Hey. I just know that it has to be connected there. The machine won’t work if it isn’t.”

“But how did you know where to connect it?”

“Future Future told me.” At least that was true.

“But why should it be connected there?”

“That’s a good question. I don’t really know.”

“You don’t? But then, how do you know it’s right?”

“Because the machine worked after Future Future connected the wire there.”

“But…”

I was getting exasperated. I wished he would just let this go. Why did I have to be such a stubborn moron?

I said, “The answer is, ‘I don’t know.’ But you can try to figure it out while you travel back to this morning if you like.”

“Oh. It’s going to take a while?” Oh good, I thought. That effectively changed the subject.

“Yeah. You’ll be traveling back through the entire day. So it will take some amount of time to get back there. And now it’s time for you to breeze.”

“Why?”

“Because I’ve got to get ready for my date. You wouldn’t want me to miss my date, would you?”

“No. Because if you missed it, then I’d miss it too.”

Then I told Pacie where to stand and that he needed to walk toward Backward. When he met Backward, I zapped them with the time machine, and both of them instantly disappeared. “It was nice being you guys,” I said.

So that’s it. That’s what happened on the day I lived twice. Oh, LaKeshia and I had a fabulous date that night, and we began an on-again off-again relationship. So our anniversary is October 2nd, 2387… uh, the second one. And now, five years later, LaKeshia and I are talking about marriage, so I hope you’ll pray for us. wherever and whenever you are.

Of course, now that me and my time machine are world-famous, the government has implemented strict restrictions on time travel. And I can understand. What I did was pretty risky. I don’t know what would have happened if I had changed the time line in any way, though I’m not really sure I was actually capable of making any changes. There might be some sort of fundamental law of nature that says the time line is fixed and you simply cannot change it, even if you travel through it more than once.

Well, now that I have finally finished writing this, I’ll send it off to one of the many publishers that have been knocking down my door. And once it has been published, I’m planning to send one copy into the past. I have this box of old books that my grandmother gave me about five years ago. I never had any interest in opening the box, so I have no idea what is in it. I plan to hide a copy of this story between the books in that box, and then send the entire box into the past. Whoever finds it might not believe it, but hopefully they will enjoy it.

So, this is me, Ken Samuel, again. Now that I have typed this in, I’ll post it on my website where it should remain for a very long time… maybe until the 24th century! I haven’t decided what to do with the hard copy. I’ll probably give it to a physicist who can analyze the material and maybe figure out how to make it. Or maybe I’ll slip it between some old books that my grandmother gave me…

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